16 Mar 03

The rain continued to fall as the wooden casket was slowly lowered into the open ground. It was an overcast day with gloomy gray and black clouds.  Thunder streaked across the sky and the rain began to pour harder, as if the very heavens were weeping in sorrow. Horrible sobs filled the air as friends and family wept for the departed Nadeshiko.  Touya stood next to his father and little sister Sakura.  He should have felt something like sadness or pain, but he didn’t.  All he felt was hollow and extremely angry.  He didn’t understand why his mother who was so kind and gentle had died.  A part of him hated the hospital were she had stayed, the doctors who could not help her, and his father who did nothing.  Oh he knew in his heart of hearts that his father or the doctors couldn’t do anything but he need someone to blame.

“Touya?”

Glancing down he noticed his little sister had tear streaks on her pale cheeks and her eyes were red rimmed.

“What is it Sakura?”

He wasn’t to surprised when she launched herself at him and began to sob.  Hugging her tightly to him, he let her cry and continued to glare at the casket.  Touya glanced up at his father and noticed that the man was crying silently.  When his father’s green eyes met his own brown ones, he turned away in anger.   He knew his actions were hurting his father at the moment but right now he could care less.  Glancing back at the casket he continued to watch as they buried his mother forever.

**

“Touya wait just a moment!”

Stopping to a halt in anger he whirled around and glared at his father.  The other man was looking at him in sadness and a deep sorrow.

“What is it father?”

He watched the other man flinch and felt slightly guilty.  Ever since the death of his mother a few months ago, life at the Kinomoto’s had not been easy.  For one thing his grades had been going down hill and he could care less.  His little sister cried all the time and she was so needy.  And their father was a nervous wreak but was trying to stay strong for them.  He knew that he should try to be more compassionate and caring to his family but he just couldn’t.  Touya was so angry still that at times he felt that he could explode.

“Please watch Sakura for me tonight ok?”

“No!”

“But Touya…”

“I said no father.”

Whirling around again he stomped down the hall and slammed the cellar door after him.  Leaning against it he let out a soft sigh and ran a hand through his dark brown locks.  He had seen the hurt confusion on his father’s face and he felt guilty again.  A part of him wanted to say yes but another part didn’t. Griping his hair in frustration he let out an irritated grunt and jumped in surprise. There was a sudden loud thump downstairs and then all was quiet.  Wondering what it was, he walked downstairs and saw a book laying on the floor.  The cellar was lined with rows of shelves filled to the brim with books.  His father and mother had loved to read and had made this into their library.  Touya wondered how the book fell but shrugged and reached for it.  He blinked in surprise when he felt a strange tingle as he almost touched the book.  Pulling his hand back he glanced at it for a moment before narrowing his eyes at the book.  For a moment he could see a faint outline of powers surrounding it and noticed a golden winged lion on the cover, with English words above it.

“The Book Of Clow.”

Feeling more curious then ever he reached for the book and was surprised when it began to glow.  About to snatch his hand back again he was surprised when the book opened and then all hell broke loose.  A strange power surged from the book and Touya could feel it pulling at him.  He tried to struggle but it would not let him get free.  With a terror filled shout the poor boy was pulled into the book.  The book slammed shut and glowed once before all was still again.

**

Darkness eternal surrounded him from all sides and it was so quiet.  It had been like this for many years now and it was so hard to remember.  There was barely any memory of what true sun or moonlight looked like or what rainfall sounded like.  Too much time had passed and it seemed like an eternity in this limbo.  Voices would reach through the darkness once in a while and yet fade away.  This had been occurring off and on again for centuries.  No matter how hard he yelled or screamed know one would hear him.  He tried calling out for his companions that were suppose to be here as well but either they didn’t hear him or could not reach him.  Letting out a sad sigh he continued to float in the limbo and sleep. Perhaps he would spend eternity in this hell and never see another soul again.

**

Pure white wings glowed in the darkness before opening up and revealing a slim human form.  Long silver hair floated around the white and purple clothed figure.  Silver eyes blinked in sleepy confusion and he glanced around.  Letting out a tired sigh he noticed that he was still floating around in nothingness and wondered what had disturbed him from slumber.  Cocking his head to the side he closed his eyes and used magic to extend his senses.  Concentrating hard he could feel nothing for a few moments and then let out a gasp.  He could feel a faint presence not that far away and a sense of joy filled him.  Opening up his white wings, he quickly flew towards it and could make it out in the distance.  It glowed a soft blue hue and appeared to be floating.  Landing next to it he blinked in shock and rubbed his eyes in confusion.  It was a young boy with long brown locks that fell half into his eyes and tanned skin.  Why was this boy here and what was he going to do about it?

“Ummm….”

He watched as the boy blinked sleepily before chocolate colored eyes opened and looked around. The boy’s eyes seemed to sharpen suddenly and stared directly as him.  Silver eyes widened in shock and he felt something freeze inside of him.  It felt like the other was looking into his very soul and it was a bit unnerving.  He was terribly glad when the child closed his eyes and broke their eye contact. 

“Who are you? Or more like where are we?”

Looking at the boy again he noticed that his eyes were still closed and for that he was grateful.

“My name is Yue and we are inside the book of Clow.”

          Touya was slightly scared of the angelic being he had seen upon awakening.  One moment he had been in his father’s cellar and the next he was staring up at Yue.  The man was beautiful with his pale skin and slanted silver eyes.  When he had gazed up into the other’s eyes he had felt a deep connection with the being and also a deep sadness.  Something inside of him wanted to help but he had squashed it ruthlessly.  Why should he try to help others when all it did was cause him deep sorrow somehow.  Closing his eyes he tried to forget the other’s sadness and decided to concentrate on what he was going to do.  Yue said that he was inside the book and now he need to figure out how he was going to get out.

“Is there anyway to get out of this book Yue?”

Harsh laughter filled the silence and he opened his eyes in shock.  The other man was smiling bitterly and appeared lost in thought.

“There is know way out of here Touya, at least not until the next master opens the book and releases us.”

Cold silver eyes glanced at him in curiosity before looking away.

“It doesn’t appear that you are the next candidate for the book or else you would have been tested.  But what I don’t understand is how come you are in the book now?”

He was slightly curious as to why this angel was sealed inside a book but that he could figure out later.  Touya watched as the angel tried to figure this out and he wondered if he was ever going home. Letting out a tired sigh he glanced around and blinked in surprise.  A few feet away stood four being and they appeared to be watching them.  Glancing back at his companion he noticed that he still in deep thought.  Shrugging his shoulders, Touya decided to find out whom they were and if they could help.

“Hi my name is Touya and I was wondering if you could tell me how to get out of here.”

The four beings glanced at each other before looking back at him.  The blue skinned girl stepped forward, before bowing slightly.

“We are the four elementals, Watery, Windy, Firey, and Earthy.  Or better known as the strongest cards in the Clow deck.”

“The only way for you to return Touya is for you to help Yue remember to open his heart again.”

Eyes opening wide in shock he wondered why him and glanced at Firey.

“I have to help that angel feel again?  How am I to do that and why me in the first place?”

Windy floated over to him and she touched his arm gently.

“We are unsure how you are to accomplish this young one or even why you were picked.  But for you to return home you must accomplish this task.”

Groaning in irritation he nearly jumped in surprise when a hand landed on his shoulder.  Whirling around he gazed up into silver eyes and it was Yue.

“Who are you talking to Touya?”

“The four elements of the Clow card Yue.”

Yue’s eyes widened in shock and he glanced around.  He hadn’t seen the Clow cards or his brother Keroberus since they had been sealed away in this book.  It had been so long since he had talked to any of them and he was eager to see them again.  Strange how this child could see them but he couldn’t.

“I don’t see them Touya.”

The boy closed his eyes and began to mumble something. 

“What did you say?”

He watched as the boy glared at him in irritation and wondered what that was all about.

“I said that the reason you cannot see them is because you have sealed away your emotions.”

Yue glared down at the boy and then glanced back over Touya’s shoulder.  What did he mean by this strange remark and was it true?

“Why are you saying this?”

Touya sighed and reaching up grabbed a hank full of hair.  Pulling gently he waited until the angel kneeled and met him eye to eye.

“Its because something happened in the past and your afraid to open up again am I right?”

He watched as silver eyes turned cold as a glacier and the other tried to back away.  Yanking the hair hard he watched tears of pain appear in Yue’s eyes before the man glared at him.  Touya was not letting the other get away or even run from the truth.  He wanted to return home sometime soon and had to work on the other’s emotions now.  Glancing over at the four elements, he noticed that they were watching him curiously but made no move to help or stop him.  Looking back up into angry eyes he had a feeling that this was going to be a hard battle to win.

**

Touya let out an irritated sigh as he glanced at the angel who floated next to him.  He had tried everything from asking questions kindly to even begging.  None of theses had worked so far and it was driving him nuts.  The other four elements had not been any help at all and soon left them both alone. 

“Try asking him about the past young one.”

A few feet in front of him, he noticed a glowing golden winged lion standing a few feet away.  Looking over at Yue he noticed that the angel had his eyes closed and appeared to be meditating.  Glancing back at the lion again he noticed that he was sitting down and watching him patiently.  Standing up he walked over to the lion and gazed at him in curiosity.

“Who are you?”

“My name is Keroberus and I am the Guardian of the Clow Book.”

“But why should I ask him about the past?”

Keroberus gazed at him for a moment and then looked over at Yue.  Touya could see the affection but also the sorrow in the golden eyes. 

“Its because once he loved someone who in the end died and left him all alone.  He needs to let go of the past in order to open his heart again.”

Touya blinked in surprise at this statement and felt sympathy for the angel.  It was so similar to his situation and yet he had a feeling it was totally different as well.

“He loved him with all his heart I take it?”

The golden lion nodded slowly and gazed up at the boy in sorrow.

“Yes he did and the other loved him as well.”

Touya was curious about who Yue had loved but didn’t ask.  He somehow knew he wasn’t suppose to know who it was yet and had a feeling he would find out one day. 

“Okay I will try and ask him but I doubt Yue is going to tell me anything.”

Turning around he walked over to the angel and stood before him.  Reaching out he grabbed one of the slim hands and intertwined it with his own.  Silver eyes opened and regarded him thoughtfully before glaring over his shoulder.  The angel was still angry at him from early and seemed to be holding a grudge.  Not one to back down from a challenge Touya squared his shoulders and smiled sadly.  It was ironic that their situations were so similar and they were both closing there hearts to others.  Perhaps if he helped Yue resolve his issues then maybe he could help himself.

“Yue I kind of understand what you are going through right now.”

Glancing down at his feet he closed his eyes for a moment and gathered his thoughts together.  Somehow he dreaded talking about any of this but he needed too. If he didn’t bare his feelings then how did he expect Yue too?

“You see I lost someone special to me a little while ago and it still hurts.  I loved that person with all my heart and yet in the end they still left me.”

Touya could feel silver eyes gazing down at him and he wondered what was reflected there.  Opening his eyes again he gazed at there linked hands and sighed.

“You see my mother has been sick for a while now and there was nothing the doctors could do for her.  At first I thought it was all a lie but as time went on I had to face the truth.  She was going to die and there was nothing I could do.”

Tears began to slide down his cheeks but he didn’t noticed.  He was to caught up in his memories to even feel them.

“I began to blame the doctors, the world, and even my father.  I treated him badly and even though a part of me cared another part didn’t.  I was hurting so much inside that I began to push everyone away, because I thought that by doing this know one could hurt me again.”

Looking up into startled silver he noticed that there was some emotion shining through.  It hurt so much to bare his soul like this to someone but right now it needed to be done.

“But its not true Yue, the more you push someone away the more closed off you begin to feel.  You start to loose yourself and in the end all that will be left is a cold shell.”

The tears began to fall harder and Touya fell to his knees.  Letting go of Yue’s hand he hugged himself tightly.

“It hurts so much that she is gone Yue and I don’t know what to do.”

Sobbing uncontrollable, Touya finally let himself grieve for his mother and all the pain he had been in.

Yue gazed down at the sobbing youth who sat on the ground. He could feel the pain rolling off of the boy and knelt next to him.  Touching his shoulder gently he was surprised when the boy hugged him.   Hesitantly raising a hand he stroked the boy’s hair and felt him tighten the hold.  How could one so young try to help someone to the point that they were even in pain themselves?   It was the most selfless act that he had ever seen and he could feel tears slide down his cheeks.  Wrapping his other arm around the boy he slowly rocked them back and forth.

“Just let it all out Touya and everything will be alright.”

He could feel the boy’s shoulder stop shaking and continued to stroke his hair.  Somehow Yue could feel something start to heal inside of him and he smiled sadly.  Perhaps someday soon he would be able to let go of his grief for the one he loved and it was thanks to the boy he held.  Feeling warm fur rub against him he leaned back into it and felt the other purr.  Gazing over his shoulder he saw Keroberus standing behind him and farther away the other Clow cards as well.  Yue could feel the love and concern flowing from all of them.  For the first time in a long while he didn’t feel alone again and the darkness seemed much brighter.

“I want to thank you Touya for helping me see that I have been wrong to hide away from my pain.  And that even though the one I love is gone, I am never alone as long as my family or friends are still here.”

The boy raised his head and tear-drenched eyes looked into his own.  Yue smiled down at him in reassurance before leaning down and kissing him on the cheek.  Touya’s brown eyes widened in surprise and then he blushed bright red.  Smiling warmly down at the youth, Yue hugged him tightly before standing up.

          Touya blinked up at the angel and then wiped his eyes.  He was surprised at the kiss that Yue had granted him and was pleased as well. 

“I am glad that I helped you Yue and I think you helped me as well.”

The angel smiled at him before glancing around.  Looking up he was astonished to see so many different beings standing around and noticed Keroberus leaning against Yue.

“Thank you for helping my brother and we will all be eternally in your debt.”

Touya blushed again before smiling down at the lion. 

“I think its time for you to go home now Touya.”

Looking up at the angel he felt a deep sorrow fill him.  He didn’t want to say goodbye to the angel or any of the beings in the book.  They had somehow become really important to him and he didn’t want to leave.  

“Don’t worry Touya I have a feeling we will all meet again someday.”

Nodding his head he began to grow sleepy and then all was dark.  He somehow knew that Yue and him would meet again.  And everything in his life would be just fine.

**
A few years later……..

Feeling arms tighten more firmly against his waist Touya yawned before opening his eyes.  The full moon glowed overhead and the town seemed like a dream.  Stretching slightly he turned his head and gazed up into silver eyes.  The love and warmth reflected there, made him blush a little. 

“What is it Touya?”

“I had a dream that we met before Yue and it feels like it was long ago.”

The angel cocked his head to the side before smiling down at him. 

“Maybe we were destined to meet then Touya and that dream is a reflection of it.”

“Maybe.”

Yue gazed up at the moon and felt power flow through his body.  Touya didn’t remember to well about there meeting when he was young but Yue did.  Perhaps one day soon he would tell his love all about it and how he had helped him began the healing process.  He would always love Clow since he was his master and lover but now he had someone he loved even more.

“Did I tell you that I love you?”

Gazing down into warm chocolate brown eyes, Yue blushed and smiled warmly down at the man.

“Everyday Touya and I love you too.”

**

The End…

Yea that was fun to write and sigh so sappy/angsty. Hehe aw well hope everyone likes it!