Title: Sorrowful Blade

Charatcers: Legolas/Estel, Various

Summary: Short Drabbles/Story on Legolas and how he copes with his losses & finds salvation.

Note:  Theses drabbles were dedicated to morierblackleaf back in Oct 05 and were originally only on my LJ. Hopefully someday I will finish them.

Part 1: Broken

He stood there on the Cliffside gazing out into the endless night and let out a tired sigh.  The rain poured down around him and made him feel a bit melancholy.  It drenched his golden hair to his skull and gently washed away bits of leaves and blood.  Impatiently, he raked a hand through his hair and blinked rapidly to clear his eye sight.  For a moment it looked like tears were pouring down his cheeks or was it the rain?  Raising, his left hand to eye level, he grimaced at the bits of blood and flesh coating the blade he carried.  He watched as the rain slowly washed it all away and it gleamed dully in the dim light. It had been a violent journey through the mountains that night with battles raging around him and the screams of the dead and dying.  A horde of Orcs had descended on his party and lucky they had persevered.  Many had lost there lives in this battle and yet he could feel no sorrow. All emotions had died in him long ago and he barely felt anything anymore.   He lived for battles theses days you see for the love of life had been taken from him long ago.  The one he had considered most precious to him had died long ago while protecting him.  And for that fact alone the guilt and sorrow had destroyed his zest for life.  Raising his hand high over head, he threw the blade and watched as it gleamed brilliantly once before disappearing in the darkness.   Apart of him wanted to leap out after the blade but a sense of duty stopped him.  He could hear his people in the background and sighed again.  Closing his blue eyes in exhaustion, he sometimes wondered if it was even worth it to be alive at all.

---

Part 2: Hope

It was quiet as he rode through the woods and he didn’t like it.  The sun was shining overhead and yet there were no sound.  The birds should have been singing and other creatures should have been responding, and yet nothing.  He felt a bit uneasy and his horse nickered nervously.  Reaching out a hand, he gently stroked his neck and felt it relax.

“I do not like this my lord.  Something evil is a foot.”

He turned and regarded his concerned companion and then looked over the rest of his party.  Know one looked very happy to be here and many had their hands upon there weapons.  He did not blame them for there wariness and decided to find out what was going on.  Sliding off his mount, he walked over to the nearest tree and placed a hand gently upon its rough bark.  He could feel old power radiating through the tree and something more.  Closing his eyes he called to the tree and waited.  Images flashed through their connection and he gasped in shock.  Jerking away from the tree, he ran to his horse and leaped across his back.  The horse half reared in surprise and he quickly settled the stallion with his knees. 

Turning to his companions he smiled grimly and said, “Orcs are nearby and have been on a raid.”

“Are there any survivors?” 

“Yes a baby we must hurry.”

And with that the elves raced away from the scene and through the silent forest.  It didn’t take long for them to pick up the trail or to leave there horses behind for the trees.  The elves raced through the branches, before finally appearing above the Orcs.  He motioned for his companions to spread out and wait for his signal.  Luckily for them this was a small band of Orcs and not the horde they fought a few weeks ago. Looking down among them, he finally spotted the baby and narrowed his blue eyes.  One of the Orcs dangled the baby upside down and appeared to be tormenting it.  Surprisingly the baby wasn’t screaming and he wondered if it was unconscious or dead.  Raising his hand, he quickly made a slicing motion and arrows rained down.  Many of the Orcs went down screaming and the one holding the baby looked around in fear.  Pulling out his remaining blade, he leaped from the trees and landed in front of the Orc.  The creature looked dumbfounded and he grinned at it cruelly.  Lashing out, he quickly killed the Orc and grabbed the baby before it fell over dead.  He held the warm body close and watched as the rest of the Orcs were dealt with. 

One of his companions came closer and asked, “Is the baby aright my lord?” the elf blinked and regarded the baby closer.  “Why it’s a human?  What in the world is a human child doing out here?”

He was curious as well but had no answers.  Looking down at the baby, he watched as silver eyes opened and regarded him curiously.  He felt something warm stir inside his dead soul and smiled gently.

“I do not know my friend but lucky for this baby that we found him.”

His companion regarded him thoughtfully but didn’t say anything.  For the first time in a long while, he saw something in his lord that he hadn’t seen before.  And it brought a bit of hope inside him and he prayed to the Valar that this baby would bring hope to Legolas as well.

--

Part 3 For the Love of a Prince

The elf sat upon the tree branch and regarded his lord happily.  Legolas was pacing the clearing below and was gently cooing to the baby.  It had been many days since they had rescued the human from the Orcs, and he thanked the Valar many times over for this wonderful blessing.  This baby, this human, had somehow miraculously drawn out there elven prince from the grief which had affected him for over thousand years and almost made him whole again.  For that, he would do anything for this human and even give up his life for there beloved prince to be happy.

“I see you watching our prince again Haniel.”

He turned and regarded the dark haired elf and smiled.  “Who wouldn’t be Arien?  It’s the first time I have seen a genuine smile on prince Legolas’ face in a long time. Don’t you agree?”

“Yes I do. It is good to see a genuine smile on his face and not that fake one he use to wear.”

The two friends looked at each other and grimaced in remembrance.  After the tragedy that had changed Legolas for good, the prince would try to act happy and paste a smile on his face.  The smile was so horrible that it would make everyone cringe in fright every time he would wear it.  It was especially scary when the prince battled the Orcs and had the gruesome smile upon his face.

“I do remember those days and they were highly unpleasant.”  Arien said with a shrudder.

“That’s the truth and I am glad the baby has changed that.”

Arien smirked at the delighted look on Haniel’s face and sat down next to him.  He was quiet for a moment before he noticed their captain glaring in irritation at Haniel.  Chuckling quietly, he regarded his entranced friend and said teasingly, “Hm come to think of it but aren’t you supposed to be on guard duty?”

Haniel’s blue eyes widened in shock, “Oh no I forgot.” 

Arien watched his companion leap to his feet and quickly race away.  Their captain just rolled his eyes and disappeared after Haniel.  With a delighted chuckle, he shook his head at his companion’s antics and returned his attention to the prince below. 

-- 

Part 4 Legolas & Baby

Legolas was gently singing and the baby was giggling happily.  Walking over to a great oak, the prince settled himself among its gnarled roots and grinned at the cooing baby.  He couldn’t for the life of him understand how this child brought such joy and life to his soul. He had been around very few babies in the last few years but none had affected him so deeply.   Perhaps it was that this baby sparkled with so much joy in his silver eyes or maybe it was something otherworldly leading a hand.  Either way Legolas could not stop his own blue eyes shining in happiness and kissed the soft downy cheek. 

He couldn’t help but wonder who this baby’s parents had been and how he been in the hands of the Orcs.  After rescuing the child, they had back tracked the Orcs trail and found a destroyed campsite.  No bodies were discovered and all that was left were broken tents and odd pieces of clothing.  What had perplexed the party the most was that no trail could be found of the survivors and they had no way of knowing were they had gone.  Undecided on what to do, Legolas had decided to keep the baby with them for now and detour to Rivendell instead of heading to Lothlorien. He knew his father would understand that the message going to the Lady Galadriel could be delayed for such an important task as this. Or at least he hoped. Regardless it was already done and he wouldn’t undo it.   And perhaps Lord Elrond would know who this child’s parents were and if not then a decision would have to be made on what to do with the baby. 

Lifting the child up, he regarded him quietly and said, “I wonder what your name is young one?  And how you ended up in that situation?”

The baby giggled quietly and blew raspberries at him.  Legolas tapped his own chin gently and smirked.  “Well I can’t keep calling you baby forever now can I?”

More raspberries followed and Legolas laughed.  Nuzzling the downy cheek, Legolas leaned back and said, “For now I will just call you Ithil.  I know it’s very unoriginal but your eyes do remind me of the moon.”

Ithil regarded Legolas for a moment before letting out another giggle.  The two of the continued to play under the great oak while the rest of the elven party high in the tree tops watched them in wonder.

---

Part 5 The Forest Borders

In a matter of weeks the party crested the last hill and looked upon a huge forest.  The trees before them were very old and ancient magic that only the elves could sense surrounded it. 

Legolas regarded the trees before him and then glanced down at Ithil.  The baby was fast asleep in his arms and gripped his tunic tightly.  Brushing a hand against the dark head, he looked down at the forest and sighed.  There journey was almost over and he was suddenly afraid about what lay ahead.  If they found Ithil’s parents would he be taken away from him and also his hope?  Would he revert back to the bleak world he lived in before Ithil came into his life?  Such thoughts made him feel physical ill and for a moment Legolas wanted to flee this forest.    A movement on his right caught his attention and he gladly focused on it.

Haniel was watching him worriedly and he tried to smile reassuringly at him. 

Alas Haniel didn’t buy it and sighed.  “I do not believe that look my lord.  Should we stop and rest before trying to venture into the forest of Rivendell?”

For a moment Legolas was tempted.  It would give him more time with the baby but then again it would delay the inevitable.  “No we must continue forward and try to find the little ones family.”

“Are you sure about that my liege?”  Arien asked quietly.  The dark haired elf looked at his prince in compassion and smiled gently.  “We can turn back and finish our journey to Lothlorien with known the wiser.”

Legolas looked at his two companions and then at the rest of the party.  They were all looking at him in concern and determination.  He knew that they would allow him to keep the baby and not force him to set foot in Rivendell.  It was the first time he realized how much his men cared for him and he was grateful.  He suddenly wanted to cry at there caring and quickly ducked his head. Golden strands slid forward to shield some of his face and he sniffed back a few tears.

“No it wouldn’t be right to keep Ithil from finding his family and I would feel guilty if I didn’t try.”  Legolas looked up and smiled at his party.  “But I thank you just the same.”

“Well if that is settled then.”  Haniel said merrily.  “Then let us brave this magical forest and find Ithil’s family.”

The party moved forward at once and Legolas tucked Ithil closer.  He couldn’t help the sigh that escaped him once they entered the forest or the longing to turn around.  It took a bit of riding but the entire party was finally in the forest and they ventured further in.  Some parts of the forest were dimly lit but other parts had sunbeams lighting there way.  Legolas couldn’t help but look in awe at the huge majestic trees that weren’t tainted by darkness or sorrow.  He could feel the happiness surging through the trees by there song and smiled. 

Suddenly a body leaped in front of his horse and he gasped in shock. His horse would have bolted in fright if the stranger hadn’t grabbed the bridle.   He could hear the surprise shouts from his companions but couldn’t acknowledge them.  Silver eyes stared coldly at him and he could only stare back in wonder.

“Who are you and what are you doing in Rivendell’s forest?” 

Legolas started at the cool question and pulled Ithil closer.  Those silver eyes were the same as Ithil’s and the one before him was human.  He wondered if this was Ithil’s father or some relative. 

Taking a deep breath he sat up straight and said haughtily, “I am Prince Legolas Greenleaf of Mirkwood and wish to speak with Lord Elrond Half-elven.”

“Then you have come to the right place my friend.”

“Yes it has been quiet sometime seen we have seen you Legolas.  And Estel you can stand down now he is a friend.”

Twin elves stepped out of the shadows and grinned over at the prince.  They were both tall and lithe, with long black hair and silvery eyes.  Legolas could only gape at them and watched as Estel stepped away.  It had been a long time since he had seen the twins Elrohir and Elladan and even longer since they had spoken. Motioning for his warriors to stand down, he quickly handed Ithil over to Haniel and slid off his mount. 

Walking towards the twins, he gently grasped both their hands and smiled warmly.  “It has indeed been a long time since we have seen each other.  How have you been my friends?”

“Well enough although we still get into trouble.”  said Elladan.

Elrohir snickered. “Yes and poor father doesn’t know what to do with us. Alas let us introduce you to our baby brother.” 

Estel walked forward and bowed to the prince.  He was young looking with wavy brown locks and those soul searing silver eyes.

“It is a pleasure to meet you Prince Legolas.  My name is Estel.”

Legolas smiled nervously at Estel but didn’t look at him directly.  For some reason his silver eyes unnerved him which was strange since Ithil’s made him happy.

“What brings you to Rivendell my friend?”  Elladan asked seriously.  “It is rare for the prince to leave Mirkwood.”

Legolas nodded and motioned for Haniel to come closer. He gently pulled Ithil into his arms and smiled down at the baby.

“I have brought this baby here since he was found in a group of Orcs.  We hope that you might know who the parents were?”

“We do indeed.”  Elrohir said in joy.

Legolas looked up in surprise and noticed the twins were looking over at Estel.  The human was gazing at the baby in longing and Legolas held the child out to him.  For a moment Estel froze before rushing over and gently taking the child.  Legolas watched as the silver eyes began to glow and felt his heart speed up.  For the first time he realized how truly beautiful this human looked and especially holding Ithil.

Elladan place a gentle hand on Estel’s shoulder and glanced over at Legolas.

“This baby is known as Soronúmë and it is Estel’s child.  We have been looking for him for a long time.”

Estel looked up from holding his son and smiled warmly at Legolas.  Tears were sliding down his cheeks and he said quietly, “Thank you very much Prince Legolas I am in your debt.”

Legolas returned the smile and watched Ithil or Soronúmë greet his father in joy.  He couldn’t help but feel a bit saddened by the loss but at the same time joyful as well. And he wondered how had Estel lost his child and even become brother to Elladan and Elrohir?  There were so many questions but for now he would wait and continued to watch the happy reunion.

---

Part 6 Memories

Rivendell was a wondrous place filled with so much beauty and tranquility.  The elves voices were filled with joy and the trees radiated happiness.  And yet for one elf he felt no joy and only a deep sorrow.  Legolas leaned on his balcony rail and watched the trees sway in the wind.  He thought back over the last few days and grimaced.  There entry into the Vale of the forest had been anticipated and Lord Elrond had greeted them kindly.  And that had soon changed to joy when Elrond had found out who Estel carried.  Many thanks and gifts had been showered on Legolas and his warriors.  It had been a bit overwhelming and he was glad when he was finally taken to his rooms.  That first day was the last time he had seen Soronúmë and he was saddened by it.  He only ever saw Lord Elrond and the rest of his family, but never the baby or even Estel.

Legolas truly missed the silver eyes gazing up at him in wonder, or the tiny hands grasping his hair, and even that wonderful baby smell.

A few tears slipped down his cheeks and he ducked his head.  He gazed down at his boots and watched the tears splash on the marble floor. Memories flew through his mind and with a loud sob he fell to his knees.  The things he had first feared at the border were coming true and he didn’t know what to do. 

He remembered a baby’s cry suddenly silenced and a pain filled voice screaming his name.  Raising his hands closer to his face, he could still see the blood coating them and fisted them tightly in anguish.  The memories were coming back with a vengeance and he tried to fight them off.  He didn’t want to remember his past or the ones who had died.  It was too much pain and now he remembered why he never let anyone close to him.  It brought back horrible memories when he felt emotion and it was dangerous.  He had almost died from them the last time and so he had come to a decision during that dark time. He had decided to forget the past and to let all emotions die. By doing this he was able to survive but the price was high.  He had to live in emotionless world and not care for anyone any more.  Only this time, he didn’t want to fight off the emotions or the past.   He didn’t want to forget Soronúmë or the joy he brought.  And especially the kindness and compassion his warriors had shown.   Alas the only problem was he wasn’t to sure if he could survive if he didn’t and he smiled sadly. To live with emotion or without it?  It was the hardest decision that even the sanest elf would not know what to do.

Standing up, he staggered back into his room and over to the dresser.  He looked down and saw his single blade laying there unsheathed.  A part of him wondered if the twin was still resting somewhere on that mountain.  Grabbing the handle, he raised his left hand and took a deep breath. He knew what he had to do and yet it was going to hurt.  Raising the blade, he quickly slashed his arm and hissed in agony.  Blood welled up from wrist to elbow and began to paint his skin in a red silvery sheen.  Clarity entered his mind and pushed the pain of the past away for the moment.  This new pain helped him focus and to handle his grief.  It was only a temporary solution but for now it would work.  He looked at the knife and quickly flung it away.  It hit the floor hard spraying what blood it had on it and slid under the bed.  He knew he needed to stop the blood flow and headed to the bathroom for badges.  Unfortunately, he was losing too much blood and the room seemed to sway dizzyingly before his eyes.  He could feel his heart beating faster then normal and knew he had cut to deep. Suddenly his knees gave out and the last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was maybe cutting himself hadn’t been the smartest idea at all.

---

Part 7 Happy Reunion

A happy child’s giggle echoed throughout the courtyard and was soon followed by male laughter.  Sitting under a tall willow tree was Estel and he was tickling his son.  The boy was chuckling gleefully and kept trying to grasp his hands.

“You two seem to be enjoying yourselves.” 

Estel smiled over at the speaker and watched as Soronúmë let out a happy squeal and began to crawl over to the elf.  Golden hair shimmered around the elf’s pale face as he reached down and picked up the child.  Soronúmë gently grasped long golden strands and began to tug gently. 

Estel smirked and leaned back on his hands.  He watched as the elf cooed down at his son and stifled a chuckle.  Who would have thought that the great Balrog slayer would make such cute faces at a baby?  “Yes and it is all thanks to Legolas.”

Glorfindel gently untangled Soronúmë fingers from his hair and set the boy down.  He watched as the little one grabbed his leggings and hosted himself up.  Another happy giggle escaped the toddler as he looked up at the elf.

“It is a good thing that he found your son in time and brought him back to you unharmed.”

“It is unfortunate that his mother did not survive though.”

Glorfindel snorted.  “Perhaps but perhaps not.  It is a good thing that she didn’t survive for I fear what your brothers and sister would have done to that woman.”

Estel let out a sigh, “That woman happened to be my wife and the mother of Soronúmë.”

“Che.  I sincerely doubt she thought that since she was about as faithful as a Orc in heat.”

“Glorfindel!”

Blue eyes glared at Estel.  “Do you deny it young one?  You know I speak the truth on this one even though it is ill manners to speak of the dead.”

 

“I have to agree with that statement.”

“Yes it is good that Sundra didn’t survive or else I would have to ring her unfaithful neck.”

Estel groaned and looked at his brothers.  Both of them had murderous looks in there eyes and Elladan the most.  His brothers had always been overprotective of him since his childhood.  It had gotten worse as he had gotten older and throw in his father, mother, Arwen, and the rest of Rivendell, and they were a formidable force.

“I know how she was.” Estel said quietly as he stood up and brushed off his leggings.  He glanced over at Soronúmë and smiled gently.  “But I am gratefully to her for giving me my son.”

Elladan walked over to his brother and pulled him into a hug.  “As are we all Estel.”

Elrohir watched the touching scene between his brothers.  A gasp soon caught his attention and he looked over at Glorfindel curiously.  What he saw made his mouth drop open and he laughed.

“By Eru light he is walking!”

All eyes turned to the toddler and happy laughs echoed throughout the courtyard.   Soronúmë was carefully walking over to his father and was shadowed by Glorfindel. The baby had a determined look on his face as he put one step in front of the other.

Estel glanced at his brother and they shared a smile.  Quickly going down to his knees, he held out his hands and watched in pride as his son wobbled towards him.

Soronúmë giggled when he saw his father become his height and tried to walk faster.  He was almost there when he suddenly lost his balance and toppled forward.  Warm hands grasped him around the middle and set him back on his feet. 

Estel nodded his thanks at Glorfindel and called out to his son.  He had thought he would never see his son again when Sundra had taken him away and to achieve this moment was a gift.  He would have to remember to make time to see Legolas this evening and thank him properly.  Soronúmë made the last few steps and toppled into his fathers arms.    Excitied shouts echoed from his family members and he hugged his son fiercly.

“I see that I had good timing as usual.”

Estel raised his head and grinned gleefully at his father.  “Yes father did you see? Soronúmë took his first steps.”

Elrohir said in excitement.  “It was amazing father.”

“Yes soon he will be riding before you know it.”  Elladan replied happily.

Glorfindel rubbed his hands in glee.  “And of course we will have to start training him soon.”

“I think you are jumping ahead of yourselves here.  Soronúmë just only learned to walk.”  Erestor said laughingly.

Elrond glanced at his advisor and the two of them shared a smirk.  They had rushed out of the library earlier then intended when they had heard the excited laughs.  Wondering what the joyous noise had been about, they had quickly found out when they had seen Soronúmë walking.  It was indeed a wonderous event and he thanked Eru for this blessing. 

“Hm I think this calls for a celebration don’t you think?”

Erestor nodded in agreement.  “A wonderful idea Elrond, I will go tell the chefs to prepare a feast!”  

“And we will go tell Gilrean what just happened.”  Elrohir and Elladan said together.

“Hey!” Estel protested.

“Hm and I must tell every elf in Rivendell just what my nephew has done.”  Glorfindel mumbled as he quickly walked away.

Soon the courtyard was clear and only Estel, Elrond, and Soronúmë remained.

Elrond chuckled and shook his head.  “Shall we go and tell prince Legolas and his company the good news my son?”

Estel picked up Soronúmë and looked at his father in resignation.  “Yes we had better since everyone else is delivering the news for me.  At least then I will be able to tell someone first.”

Elrond let out a delighted chuckle as the two of them disappeared into the house.

---

TBC?