Title: Its all I ever wanted

Characters: Spock/Kirk

Summary: Sometimes there is no happiness when you love someone.

Note: Short Drabble

It is sprinkling a little when he lunges forward and kisses those tempting lips.  Warmth floods his being as the one wish he wants comes true.  Suddenly he is shoved back and he looses his footing.  He falls on his rump on the muddy ground.  Looking up he watches as the other slowly raises a hand to his lip and with an abrupt movement stop.  Surprised dark brown eyes slowly turn cold.  A lump suddenly clogs his throat as he watches the hand fall down to the other’s side.  It begans to rain harder as he waits for the other to speak. 

“I am sorry I cannot return your affection in this manner.  I do not feel this emotion that you do.”

Agony rips through his being and he closes his hazel eyes.  He feels as if his soul has been ripped out and his heart is in shreds.  Rejection is always a painful experience but even worse from someone you care about.  An urge to run over takes him and he is on his feet in an instance.  He can feel the other watching him and he wonders if there is disgust showing on that alien face.  Turning around he opens his eyes and looks up at the grey sky.  The rain is warm on his skin but all he feels is coldness inside.

“I understand my friend,” he says a bit gruffly.  “I am sorry if I have offended you by my actions.  If you will excuse me I think I need to go before I make a fool of myself again.”

“Jim I…”

Whirling around, he stared at the other in anguish.  “Please Spock let me go. “

For a moment it appeared as if Spock would say something else but then he nods his head slowly.  With a relived sigh, Jim turned around and quickly strode away.  He doesn’t see when Spock raises a hand in his direction as if to stop him or the sorrow that briefly flashes in dark brown eyes.

Jim strides quickly along the muddy ground and then suddenly breaks into run.  He runs as fast as he possibly can and wonders if keeps running could he escape his problems forever.  The rain plasters his dark brown hair to his head and his golden uniform clings uncomfortably to his skin.  He runs for a long time until he finally collapses under a tree.  Raising his hands he pressed them against his burning eyes and begins to cry.  Painful sobs shakes his hunched over frame and he is glad that know one else is around.  The rain flows down his cheeks to mingle with his tears.  How foolish he been for finally revealing his feeling to Spock and he wondered if he had destroyed their friendship.   Coming to a sudden decision he takes a deep breath and wipes away his tears.  He would bury theses feelings deep inside himself and try to never think of them again.  So far down that he hopes that it would disappear forever.  It would take a long time and perhaps it wouldn’t really work but his friendship was too precious to give up.  Smiling sadly he whispers a sad goodbye to a lost love and begins the long walk home.

<end>